Mood: Peeved beyond belief
Today I truly knew what a punch to the face felt like. It wasn’t the physical pain that bothered me, it was the emotion behind it. It felt like the frustration locked inside those sweaty curled up knuckles hit me like a train going seventy miles an hour. The pain I got over, the swelling anger of my attacker was the catalyst to me just lying on the ground. Of course people looked over me to see what was going on yet they didn’t really know what was going on... inside me that is. I felt ashamed, so ashamed that I almost wished I punched myself. The people around just laughed and did nothing, as usual. When a guy gets punched they always believe the other guy deserved it. But does he? Just because someone is punched, was it because he needed it? People always look at the physical, they can’t stand getting under the skin, getting to the truth. They just make their assumptions and walk off, it doesn’t matter to them. It doesn’t affect their lives. So who cares? Well apparently I do. I get to my feet and rub my cheek, it burns more than I thought. I instinctively bring in the side of my cheek, I don’t know why I do this. Probably to say “Hey I got punched in the face, anyone else want to see?” It feels ridiculous so my cheek inflates back onto my face like magic, but not really. I never believed in magic, probably because logic and rational thinking was what I thrived in. Without facts I wouldn’t believe anything. Since magic could not be proved, I dismissed it. I think being logical was what got me into this mess. I think telling a guy that he has no chance with a girl he has had a crush on since he was a toddler was probably not the best idea I ever had in my short life. The logical thing right now is to dismiss what had happened, brush off the dirt from my pants and walk on, no use getting too upset. I said something that was offensive to him and he reacted. Did I deserve it? Did I deserve to be punched for stating a fact? I don’t think so, but my friend certainly did. But did he punch me because he was offended or was it because he knew it was true as well? But why should I explain myself? What point is there to it, what point was supposed to be made by his assault? As I was pondering I felt a freezing sensation on my burning face. I snapped my head to the side and was staring into the azure eyes of a girl my age a mere two inches shorter than I was.
“I guess you told him?” The girl asked.
“Affirmative, I believe he did not take it well as I thought.” I said, I took the ice from her soft hand and placed it on my cheek, it stung a bit but the icy embrace soothed me. She crossed her hands over her young and supple chest. I know most guys dreamed of being in my position, walking side by side with someone they all deem to be “hot stuff” but it doesn’t appeal to me. She is someone of intellectual equivalence to me. I find comfort in her findings, even though she may oppose me, I accept the challenge.
“You didn’t have to do this Gale. I could have told James myself.” She said mentioning my name, a gale is a wind that goes from 32-63 miles per hour. Not really that special, but is it?
“Gail, I find it prudent that you do not interact with James at this time, you said so yourself. You did not want to be with him because of his drug problem.” I said. Yes our names are homonyms, they sound the same but have different meanings. People have made fun of us in the past for it but I saw no reason why, just because our parents thought of that name to give us, that it was to be ridiculed, it’s stupid and pointless.
“Yes but that was a battle you did not have to fight.”
“I don’t see what you mean, it wasn’t a battle, it was a discussion.”
“Do you have to take everything so literally.”
“I don’t see where you’re getting at.”
“I’ve been your friend as long as he has, I can’t stand it when you get on other people’s nerves because you don’t know any better, it’s not how people work!” She raised her voice, an obvious sign of frustration.
“What do you think the result would have been if you said it yourself, he may have spiraled out of control.” That I believe was the most logical conclusion, James never had a great control over his emotions.
“I don’t care about him, it’s you who I’m worried about.” Her azure eyes peered into my soul and I felt once again so ashamed I could hit myself. But I must remain rational and realistic.
“Is it because I am physically weaker since I stress more importance on intelligence rather than physical activity?”
“It’s not that.”
“I do not understand, tell me, what are you so worried about?”
“I’m worried that if you continue down your path of intellectual understanding that you won’t be able to love anyone.” She said as she picked up her pace and walked away from me.
I was wrong, the punch didn’t bother me or the emotion behind that. It was her walking away from me, being told that I wouldn’t be able to love, it disturbed me. It’s impossible not to love something, I couldn’t believe she was able to utter such a thing to me. I didn’t know whether to be disturbed or afraid. Was what I was doing so scary and wrong? I thought that knowledge was supreme but maybe there should be magic, mystery, something that will keep me going, and I believe I must search for that something. That is the logical thing to do, no... it’s the right thing to do.
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